Read with me, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
This week I was constantly bombarded by an awareness of the need for more love in our lives. We are presented with opportunities to raise our voices, daily. Every day I have many moments where I have to choose if I will let go or fight. I am challenged to love those around me while they behave poorly, and more often than not their misbehaving is merely a projected verdict from my skewed perspectives. When I feel overwhelmed by disappointment, let down by someone’s failure of follow through, it so very easy to make it about me and wear their failures as brand of hurt on my heart. Let me just say, Love wins. Every time. Love makes losing worth it, too. The thing is, loving someone can often require me to give up my right to be right, even to have an opinion. God gave us each a voice and a message, but with a pertinent reminder to always use speech accompanied by Grace.
Many times, I have found myself at a crossroads between raising my opinion about something I am bothered by, and staying quiet. More often than not, not saying anything introduces the idea that I have let the other person win. Allowing someone to believe untruths about you without you having to correct the narrative, letting them have the last say, and keeping your peace are all very hard demands on our emotions. Yet they are the demands of loving another. Love requires me to lay down my life, even. What then is an opinion? If my spouse does something I feel is wrong, I have to remind myself that he owes me nothing. I do, however, owe him Godly love. Love is patient. Love does not raise its voice, it does not demand to be heard, it seeks not its own way. If it is in my power to stay quiet and work with my own hands, I pray God will give the opportunity to demonstrate His love to those around me as I occupy myself with His heart.
Is having an opinion wrong? No! Is voicing your needs wrong? No! But if we are sacrificing connection at the altar of perfection we have missed the mark. The aim is to love people, the goal to understand. Love is patient and kind, it keeps no record of wrong, and is not self-seeking. If my incessant need to be heard is at the cost of your peace and well-being, I have failed to love you well. Taking the challenge to let it go renders me irrelevant. This is the scariest threat to the flesh. I have often engaged someone in conflict because it keeps my need relevant and my wants current. If correcting someone else is for my benefit, I have not loved, but promoted my own wants and perspectives.
It is hard to at times acknowledge that people are allowed to be themselves, that they should be allowed to live their lives without my opinion on the method. People are allowed to be. Love covers. Let go, and love someone.
